Do you ever feel like God is calling you to live smaller? To slow down with your worldly ambitions and just be present in all of the small, seemingly mundane details of your life? Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, it's not enough?
Well, you aren't alone. Lately, I've been seriously struggling with everything it seems. I'm exhausted, like go to the doctor and have a million tests done exhausted. I'm perfectly healthy. So, is it stress or anxiety or depression? Who knows. All I know is that I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of not feeling successful. I'm struggling with reconciling where I am and where I want to be.
Okay, okay, before this turns into a pity party, I want you to re-read my last statement. "I am struggling with reconciling where I am and where I want to be." Do you notice all of the "I"'s in that sentence? Yeah, me too. Gut check: my life is NOT about what I want. God put me on this earth to bring HIM glory. My particular skills and wants and dreams, He gave them to me, sure, but when I make it more about my desired outcome than His outcome, we have a problem.
Often, I have moments like this and wonder how did I get so far off track? How did trying to serve Him turn into me chasing selfish ambitions? Well, I'm human and I sin, so there's my problem. So, now what? How do I fix this hole in my life and heart? How do I stop feeling unsuccessful, like a failure, or like I can't do it all? I breathe. I go and hold my daughter while she falls asleep and I pray. I don't know what to say, but I do know that He sees my heart and my hurt and my failings and loves me just the same.
So, maybe, you are feeling like you aren't enough or that you can't get it all done. Maybe you just want to cry and you know that you should be happy with all He has blessed you with, but you still can't fight that feeling. Well, sister, you are not alone. The enemy wants you to feel like you are alone, but you aren't. I am here with you. God is there waiting for you to go sit at his feet. So, let's go sit there together. Let's give up our to-do lists and dreams today. Let's just go bask in His nearness and breathe. He works all things for the good. He knows our hearts. He wants what is truly best for us. So, let's slow down a little today. Let's slow down, so we can get right with Him, and then we can speed up again. I love you, friend. I see you. You are not alone. We are better together, just like I was reminded this morning when my sweet friend sent me God's words of encouragement. So, let me share them with you...
"Your Heavenly Father knows your needs. He will always give you all you need from day to day."
- Luke 12:30-31